CD Odyssey Disc 1851: Soundtrack and Muppets!

The albums on the CD Odyssey are selected randomly. If it’s in the collection, and it hasn’t already been reviewed, it’s eligible. This can generate some unintended consequences. In this case…Christmas in August.

So strap in. Things are about to get weird…

Disc 1851 is…The Muppet Christmas Carol

Artist: Er…a bunch of Muppets?

Year of Release: 1992

What’s up with the Cover? A bunch of Muppets! Also, a glowering “Michael Caine” lurks in the background. Based on his sourpuss expression, this is “Christmas Eve” Scrooge, not “Christmas Morning” Scrooge.

How I Came To Know It: I loved the Muppet Christmas Carol movie but I would never have bought the soundtrack. As it happens, I didn’t. Sheila picked it up for a single dollar in a thrift store. To which I say, “why not?”

How It Stacks Up: I have upwards of 37 soundtracks. I may have the count wrong, as I lose track of the ones that are both soundtracks and also albums by individual artists (e.g. Eddie Vedder’s “Into the Wild,” Queen’s “Flash Gordon”).

Let’s go with 37, of which I put the Muppets Christmas Carol in at…#30.

Ratings: 2 stars

Well…here we are, doing this. If you skip this one, I won’t blame you. But if you stay, I promise to avoid excess analysis of the music. The Muppets didn’t intend for it to entertain you that way, and neither do I.

Let’s start with the movie. Is this the best version of Dicken’s “A Christmas Carol”? Better than that 1935 one, which is excellent but wrecked by your parents forcing you to watch it? Better than 1988’s “Scrooged” where Carol Kane (as the Ghost of Christmas Present) hits Bill Murray’s Scrooge with a toaster?

Tough competition to be sure, but I’m going to side with the Muppets over both. Not as artsy as the thirties one, and not as edgy as the eighties (and sadly lacking any dancing showgirls), but it’s got heart to spare.

As for it being a musical, this does not usually land with me. I am not a fan of the genre, and all the musical scores/original cast recordings are – similarly – possessions of my better half. Sure there are exceptions. I love two songs from Les Mis (Disc 111): “Red and Black” and “Do You Hear the People Sing?” If those songs don’t get you going you should check your pulse. From “Chess” (Disc 156) I love “One Night in Bangkok” (yes, that’s where it’s from) and “Nobody’s Side” (listen to it and then lie to me and tell me you didn’t like it).

However, mostly when I watch musicals I’m either dreading some character bursting into song or hoping the number will end so we can get back to the story. They’re not for me.

But damn it, these Muppets. They go and make me feel the feels with their infuriating and catchy tunes about the power of love. I tried to shake it off and make fun of the situation, but despite myself this soundtrack made my heart grow three sizes. Yeah, yeah – different story. Sort of.

The song “Scrooge” has clever turns of phrase a-plenty, and I enjoyed Kermit and Tiny Tim scatting on “Christmas Scat” more than decorum should allow, but mostly, this record just made me feel good.

There is one “bummer” song, which is “When Love Is Gone” about the lost love of Scrooge’s youth. It feels like Oscar bait, and while schmaltzy enough to secure an Oscar, wasn’t even nominated. Like it would have had a snowball’s chance against either song from “Beauty and the Beast” that year. Fun related fact: “When Love Is Gone” is by a character also named Belle and was removed from later releases of the film for being too much of a bummer.

Also solid, “Marley and Marley” delivered by perennial Muppet curmudgeons Statler and Waldorf, which includes a very catchy ghostly refrain of “whooaaah” at the end of each line.

But I digress dangerously close to that ordinary musical review thing I promised you I would avoid. My apologies.

This record is best enjoyed over the holidays building a puzzle (if your cabin doesn’t have cable) or while watching the movie (if it does). If possible, select the “Belle’s bummer song” version – it is better.

Do I recommend this album in the middle of summer during your morning commute? No. Well…sort of?

Do I think it belongs on a serious music review website? Probably not, but I would remind you I review all the albums, not just the ones that make you feel cool enough to pop your collar and roll a pack of smokes into your t-shirt sleeve.

Most of all, this soundtrack will bring peace, goodwill and joy to all. If you’ve seen the movie, it does the same thing, only double. And lest you think this is me being nostalgic for my childhood, I was well into my adulthood when this came out. You’re never too old, and it’s never the wrong time to be infused with a bit of Christmas spirit.

Now run outside and invite someone to know you better, man! Wish a stranger a Merry Christmas in August! Maybe buy them a goose. Unless that feels weird, which I expect it will.

Look at that – you’ve made it to the end. Next time we return to regularly scheduled music reviews. It’s safe, I swear. I don’t even own “The Muppets Take Manhattan”. Yet.

Best tracks: Scrooge, Marley and Marley, When Love Is Gone, It Feels Like Christmas

CD Odyssey Disc 284: Soundtrack

The Odyssey is a harsh mistress, and she metes out justice with little regard for reputation or personal taste.

I suppose I was asking for this to happen, with my recent musing on how many five star albums I've been randomly getting to review of late. Be careful what you wish for, my friends.

Disc 284 is...Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

Artist: Original Canadian Cast Recording (!)

Year of Release: 1992

What’s Up With The Cover?: I believe this is is the promotional poster for the show.

How I Came To Know It: This CD belongs to my wife, Sheila. She and her Mom have a soft spot for musicals. I have no such soft spot.

How It Stacks Up: We have 23 soundtracks, and I've reviewed most of them. I'll say that Joseph is better than Moulin Rouge, and leave it at that. Although we only have three musicals (all Sheila's FYI), I originally put Chess at the bottom. Having listened to this now, I have a better frame of reference, and will be putting Joseph below it. It is better than Moulin Rouge, but most things are better than Moulin Rouge.

Rating: 1 star

As I noted above, I do not appreciate musicals. Even if the songs are catchy, even if the lyrics are clever (and they often are) I just can't get into them. They just seem overly...silly. And not silly in a good way, but silly in the way that young children think of as silly. I have never felt that kind of silly - even as a young child.

I gave Chess a couple of stars a while back simply for the singing, and for a couple of tracks that I thought had some gravitas. Also, I admire anyone who can write an entire musical about a chess tournament.

Les Miserables was actually enjoyable - it is a great original story, the music is top notch and it has an overarching tragic glory that transcends its unfortunate medium.

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat has a compelling enough story (it is from that best seller through the ages - the Bible), but they manage to suck any gravitas right out of it as they attempt to jazz it up and add a few yucks. At least that's what I think they're doing.

The sins of this record are legion - perhaps too many to mention, but since it is a music blog, let's hit the highlights, shall we?

First, it can't settle on a style. We have songs done in calypso, sixties pop, country and western and at one point a bad Elvis impersonation. It may be an attempt to pay these styles some kind of homage, but it comes off alternating between cheesy and mocking. Did I mention the Elvis impersonation? The pharoah of Egypt is Elvis, essentially. It works about as well as expected.

Second, it is interminably long - like 75 minutes. I shudder to think of the number of times I'd have had to drive around with this in my car, in the summer with the top down. Instead, I bit the bullet and spent an hour and a half painting to get it all over with in one listen.

Third, the lyrics are too clever by half. It isn't that they are consistently bad, but as Vincent Vega would say, 'it's the little things'. To which your inner Samuel L. Jackson might reply, 'example'. Well, in one place Joseph is interpreting the dreams of his fellow prisoners, who are described as:

"One was a baker, a cook in his prime
One was a butler, the Jeeves of his time."

Really? "The Jeeves of his time"? Tim Rice - you are better than that.

Another example - when describing the Pharoah, we are told:

"No one had rights or a
Vote but the king
In fact you might say
He was fairly right-wing"

Never has a misleading, ill-intentioned political statement rhymed better. Someone get on the phone and tell Tim Rice about Stalin.

Fourth and finally (because I promised to be brief), this musical features Donny Osmond. Like - a lot! He's practically in every scene. Not only that, they see this as a positive - his name is even on the cover of the album. Donny, please return to the seventies with your sister.

Maybe it isn't Donny's fault though - I've been conditioned since an early age to not like him. At the end of Alice Cooper's 1975 song, "Department of Youth" you can hear him ranting to a chorus of kids. A little routine, that if you are listening through the entire fade out ends like this:

Alice: "Were the Department of Youth - we got the power"
Chorus of Kids: "We've got it!"
Alice: "Who's got the power?"
Kids: "We do!"
Alice: "And who gave it you?"
Kids: "Donny Osmond"
Alice (angry): "What!?!"

I guess what I'm saying is, when it comes to musical theatre I'd rather watch my DVD of Alice Cooper's "Welcome to My Nightmare" tour. (Which is great by the way, with a visibly out of control and drunk Alice Cooper still nailing every performance in between random staggers about stage). But I digress.

To return to Joseph, you will note that I did not go "Two Dogs" here. These people still sing better than I will ever dream, and when Sheila puts it on I am rarely tortured like I am when the Odyssey forces me to pay close attention. It is basically, just pointless pop music, which can hardly be the worst thing in the world.

But more than anything, I must shamefacedly admit that I find one track, "Go, Go, Go Joseph", a bit of a guilty pleasure. Silly? Yes. Insufferably Broadway? Yes. Osmandesque? Yes. But dammit - it's catchy.

Also, the chorus is "Go, go, go, Joseph", a sentiment I very much can get behind.

Best tracks: Go Go Go Joseph

CD Odyssey Disc 216: Soundtrack

This next review is a guilty pleasure. One of those albums that if you're 'in the know' you love talking about it, and if you're not 'in the know' you could care less.

And now, the second straight soundtrack review.

Disc 216 is...Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Once More With Feeling

Artist: Original cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Year of Release: 2002

What’s Up With The Cover?: Um...not much. It is a cheesy artistic rendition of the show's three big stars (Sarah Michelle Gellar, Nicholas Brendan and Alyson Hannigan) and the villain from this particular episode (singer/dancer/actor - but name unimportant).

How I Came To Know It: I have been a devoted fan of the show since the first season, and got Sheila addicted by season three (I'd have had her earlier, but her job forced her to work evenings, and caused her to miss the original airings for a while). By season six, we were both nuts for the show, when this episode came out and blew our socks off. When I saw they released the music on disc, I bought it without hesitation.

How It Stacks Up: As you'll know by now, I have around 23 soundtracks/musicals. This is kind of both. I really like this one, but I'll cool my enthusiasm enough to simply say it is 'top half'.

Rating: 3 stars.

As noted earlier, this is the soundtrack to a single episode of Season Six of the amazing Buffy The Vampire Slayer TV show. The basic plot is that Buffy's younger sister, Dawn, has stolen an artifact and inadvertently caused a demon to be summoned to earth that causes reality to become a musical. The side effect is that every now and then an innocent bystander gets so overtaken by the singing and dancing that they self-combust. Also, the demon is intent on marrying Dawn and taking her back to hell. Of course, our heroes must first recognize something is wrong (as in 'what's all this crazy singing all about?') and then put things to rights.

The plot also conveniently serves to make all the action happen in song and dance routines. As the characters Broadway their way through the scenes, a whole series of secrets kept by various characters are revealed. I won't mention them, but as our Musical Demon Foe sings near the end:

"What a lot of fun
You guys have been real swell
And there's not a one
Who can say this ended well
All those secrets you've been concealing
Say you're happy now
Once more with feeling."

I won't get into what all the secrets are, because if you are a Buffy devotee you already know; if you're not a Buffy devotee you don't care, and if you're just watching it for the first time, you don't want me to say at this critical point in your journey.

OK - enough with the plot, how was the music? Surprisingly good, thanks for asking. It is amazing how catchy a lot of these songs are musically, and they are written by Joss Whedon - just another facet of his genius. While most of them are only interesting in the context of the episode, some have an emotional resonance even when divorced from the narrative.

This is particularly true of Anthony Stewart Head singing "Standing", as he laments whether by protecting Buffy from the pressures of her calling, he is inadvertently stunting her growth. In this case her growth relates to slaying demons and vampires, but believe me it works on other levels as well.

Everyone on the cast has to sing, and some succeed better than others. The aforementioned Athony Stewart Head, who playes Buffy's "watcher" Giles is a standout, which isn't surprising given that he is Murray Head's brother (of "One Night In Bangkok" fame) and a minor folk artist in his previous life. Also excellent is Amber Benson, who plays the witch/girlfriend of Willow in the show has an amazing pop diva voice. Her character bores me in season six, but I can't deny the girl has pipes.

At the other end of the spectrum we have Alyson Hannigan, who might be a brilliant character actress (and comic genius), but is painfully tone deaf. Our star, Sarah Michelle Gellar isn't great either, but she is good enough and while her tone isn't always great, she's generally on key.

The songs all follow a general thread of self-doubt, coupled with the oft-employed theme of "we are stronger together than apart", a common theme of the show. It may be a well worn theme, but Whedon does it well, and these songs are genuinely clever, and as good or better as most of what you'll hear on top 40 radio on any given day.

There are many memorable lines, but they are principally memorable if you liked the show. I'll be indulgent and share one stanza from a section where the evil vampire, Spike, is trying to decide if he's going to help Buffy out. He's evil, but he has a thing for her:

"The torch I bear is scorching me
And Buffy's laughing I've no doubt
I hope she fries
I'm free if that bitch dies
- I better help her out."

If you love the series, this album is a must have. If you don't give a whit for the show, this record will not interest you. In terms of TV, it should have won an Emmy, but in a strange twist never even made it on the ballot. Another reason why the Emmys are the second-most pointless awards show in existence (First being the purview of the Grammys).

This was brave TV of its time, and some talented writing besides. Musically, this CD isn't for everyone, but if enjoying a little Buffy sing-a-long is wrong (and I'm fairly certain that it is) then I don't wanna be right.

Best tracks: I've Got A Theory, Rest In Peace, Standing, Walk Through Fire

CD Odyssey Disc 156: Soundtrack

What happens when ABBA fights the Cold War. The next disc is what.

Disc 156 is...Chess: Original Broadway Recording
Artist: Various

Year of Release: 1988

What’s Up With The Cover?: The star-crossed lovers of our tale run, James Bond-like in front of their respective flags. I kind of like it.

How I Came To Know It: "Chess" is another of Sheila's modest collection of musicals. I've already reviewed "Les Miserables" back at Disc 111, and there's yet two more to come.

How It Stacks Up: I have about 23 soundtracks. When I recently reviewed "Moulin Rouge", I hinted that there was one or two albums possibly worse than it. At the time I was thinking of "Chess" but having listened to it, I must confirm it is better than "Moulin Rouge" by a reasonable margin. I'd still say "Chess" is bottom five of 23 soundtracks, but it is ahead of "Moulin Rouge" and may not even be the worse musical. I'll put it a distant third to Les Mis' second place.

Rating: 2 stars.

"Chess" is an ambitious project, that was a flop on Broadway, but I think was fairly brave. It is written by the guys from ABBA (Benny and Bjorn) along with Tim Rice, or so Sheila tells me. This makes sense, you can definitely hear a pop/disco sensibility in some songs.

A quick plot synopsis - there is a Chess tournament at the height of the cold war. During this, the understudy of the US champion (and the daughter of a Hungarian involved in the '56 rebellion), falls in love with the Russian champion, and he with her. Of course, against the backdrop of the Cold War, even though they have an undeniable attraction, they are uncertain if they can trust each other.

As it happens, they can really only trust each other, as all around them people scheme their Cold War schemes. As musicals go, it is pretty depressing. Between this and "Les Miserables" it is amazing how much tragedy this genre squeezes into the ordinarily joyous experience of people singing.

I liked the premise of the story, but for some reason the complex themes that they try to develop never quite come together.

The music is similarly uneven. There are a few good tracks (mostly the ones sung by the female lead, Florence (played by 'original cast member' Judy Kuhn). Kuhn sings her pants off. Well - I'm not sure about that last part, since the liner notes don't have stage directions, but let's just say she can really work the pipes.

I didn't find the same thing with the rest of the cast, who paled in comparison. I mostly found myself wanting these other guys to shut up so Kuhn could belt out a few more lines.

I also had my usual reaction to musicals, wondering why everyone felt the need to sing their entire conversations. It makes for a lot of filler.

This album also is the source of the eighties hit "One Night In Bangkok", made famous by Murray Head. Trivia moment: Murray's brother, Anthony Stewart Head played Buffy the Vampire Slayer's handler, Giles, on the Josh Whedon TV show - but more about that when I roll it (consider that a teaser).

I like "One Night in Bangkok". It has a good tune and many good double entendres:

"I'd let you watch, I would invite you
But the queens we use would not excite you."

And also one of my favourite lines in music, "I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine."

A guilty pleasure is "Nobody's Side." A discoesque anthem of despair that Kuhn belts out with enthusiasm. That part is OK, but it edges close to sounding like Celine Dion. It doesn't cross that line, but it gets close enough to make me feel like I need a shower after enjoying it. Not surprisingly, this record had a high embarassment factor in the convertible the last two days.

While "Chess" was a bit of Broadway flop, (I think it only had a two month run), but received a reasonable amount of critical acclaim. I certainly wouldn't have known how to market it back then, and I don't think I can recommend it now, but it has its moments.

Best tracks: One Night In Bangkok, Nobody's Side

CD Odyssey Disc 111: Soundtrack

At this point I would like to remind you, dear reader, that not all the music in this collection is mine - some of it belongs to Sheila. So it is with this album. However, in the interests of full disclosure, I'll admit I enjoyed it.

Disc 111 is...Les Miserables

Artist: Original Broadway Cast

Year of Release: 1986

How I Came To Know It: I never gave musicals a second look, so it was Sheila who introduced me to this music. In fact, I went with her to see it at (insert voice of James Earl Jones) "The Ford Centre for the Performing Arts" in Vancouver. It was pretty fun, but didn't hook me on musicals.

How It Stacks Up: I have over 20 soundtracks, but we only have four musicals. Of the four, I'll say that critically, "Les Miserables" is by far the best, but it is only my second favourite (I have a secret guilty pleasure - but more on that when I roll it).

Rating: 3 stars.

At times on this album, I found myself wondering why all the characters felt the compulsion to sing everything. Oh, right - it is a musical; that's what they do. Not really my thing.

Having said that, as musicals go, this one is pretty strong. The music is catchy and rousing, and the singing is very strong. I mean, really strong - like these people could be on Broadway! Oh, right - they are on Broadway.

Anyway, this is a musical adaption of Victor Hugo's novel about revolutionary France. Everyone knows the basic story - there is a criminal named Jean Valjean, and he reforms himself, but is still pursued by his over-zealous jailor Javert. Along the way, Valjean takes in a dying prostitute's daughter (Cosette) and raises her as his own. Hilarity ensues (OK - not that last part).

Later there is some sort of love triangle between a grown Cosette, a revolutionary named Marius and another woman pining for Marius named Eponine. It gets a little complicated (Sheila had to explain it to me in the car three times) but the important thing to remember is this: The love story is like the story of Frodo and Sam in Mordor. It's boring, but it keeps up the dramatic tension for the more entertaining stuff, which is the struggle between Jean Valjean and Javert.

The music is strong throughout, with a gloriously bombastic end to the first half, which goes out with the martial "Red and Black" and the idealistic "Do You Hear the People Sing." I like these lines from the latter:

"Do you hear the people sing?
Singing the songs of angry men
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again
When the beating of the drums
Matches the beating of your heart
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes."

I really enjoyed listening to this in the car, although it is a little overlong. I wasn't even embarassed at stoplights, although I suppose I could've been.

A closing note that while I have yet to read the original Hugo novel, there is a good film adaptation from about 10 years ago staring Liam Neeson as Jean Valjean and Geoffrey Rush as Javert. Both are brilliant, and the movie is worth a watch.

The musical is worth a listen, too, even though the characters insist on singing all their lines.

Best tracks: Red and Black, Do You Hear the People Sing