CD Odyssey Disc 1615: Van Halen

After a lovely night of listening to music with friends I awoke late this morning, but not too late to squeeze in this review before the NFL playoffs resume.

Not all albums that are ‘new to me’ are newly released, and such is the case with this next record, which I had little time for back in 1982, but more now that my musical tastes have grown more diverse. How much more? Read on and find out.

Disc 1615 is…Diver Down

Artist: Van Halen

Year of Release: 1982

What’s up with the Cover?  When used in marine navigation, this literally means “there is a diver down – please go slowly and cautiously so you don’t behead them with your prop”.

How I Came To Know It: I knew this album dating back to house parties in high school, but never liked it much. However, there was now enough time and distance for me to give it another chance. In this case, that chance came when my friend Ross gave me this copy as a gift. Thanks, Ross!

How It Stacks Up: I have two Van Halen albums – this one and their eponymous debut. I put “Diver Down” in at #2.

Rating: 2 stars

Listening to Diver Down made me wonder if maybe I should take the easy way out and buy a Van Halen “Greatest Hits” package and forego this fool’s errand to love their studio records. Van Halen is a good band at times, but no matter how killer a few tracks are, a full record reveals a band that thinks themselves much better than they are. It is a high opinion rarely supported by facts.

“Diver Down” starts with one of the album’s best tunes. “Where Have All the Good Times Gone?” has everything that makes a signature Van Halen tune great. There is a crunch guitar riff that digs in deep, and makes you want to shake your tousled eighties hair about. There is David Lee Roth’s lascivious showman singing (starting with the almost requisite “woo!” and descending into his sexy ringmaster delivery).

The song’s topic is also the core of Van Halen, a lot of “let’s party”, the question in the song’s title being answered with a definitive, “whatever house that is playing this ‘devil may care’ rock and roll!”  At least this was true in high school, and years later it still has that effect, even when I was just listening while stuck in traffic.

“Where Have All the Good Times Gone?” is a Kinks’ cover, as is the other awesome song on the record, Roy Orbison’s “(Oh) Pretty Woman”. This version out-rock’s the Orbison original, as it drips with sexual innuendo, and converts Orbison’s “sitting on the boardwalk watching all the girls go by” vibe into more of a “barely tolerable construction site” scene.

After this, there isn’t a lot for me to hang my hat on with this record. The original compositions are well-played and sung with gusto by master showman Roth, but the tunes themselves are mostly forgettable.

There are three instrumentals on the record, “Cathedral”, “Intruder” and “Little Guitars (intro)” and all are insufferably infused with the band’s overblown opinion of themselves, none more so than Eddie Van Halen. “Cathedral” where he tries to make a guitar sound like an organ. He succeeds but left me wondering why he fucking bothered. If I wanted a guitar to be dripping in effects until it didn’t sound like a guitar, I’d listen to U2, where at least it is done within the larger structure of a good tune.

“Intruder” is aimless noodle and feedback. Its only redeeming feature is it slides seamlessly into the brilliant “(Oh) Pretty Woman” but make no mistake, where the Orbison tune takes over is where the tune gets good, and not before.

And finally there is “Little Guitars (intro)” which is Eddie Van Halen’s version of “Lick My Love Pump” which is supposed to be some kind of high artistry with a flamenco flair, but is trapped within Eddie’s inescapable need to demonstrate how fast and technical he can play. Bored now.

On the plus side, the album’s best original composition, “Little Guitars,” immediately follows it, and reminds you why this band has been so enduring. There is some dope guitar on “Little Guitars” with Eddie channeling his inner Pete Townsend to good effect.

There are some great moments but I was too often annoyed to ever put this on as a comprehensive listening experience. Because of this I’m going to have to part with it and pass it back where I got it, or failing that, to a more deserving home than mine.

Best tracks: Where Have All the Good Times Gone?, (Oh) Pretty Woman, Little Guitars

CD Odyssey Disc 1433: Van Halen

I’m jut back from finishing my Christmas shopping. It was a little bit like Soviet Russia out there, with all the lineups necessitated by the pandemic. However, the crowds were well behaved, and I had music to accompany me while I waited.

Disc 1433 is…. Self-Titled

Artist: Van Halen

Year of Release: 1978

What’s up with the Cover?  Select “action” shots of our heroes. Alex Van Halen appears to be playing his gig in the fiery pit of hell. I suppose he’s…drummin’ with the devil…?

In the centre of it all the band’s logo, which appeared on many a jean jacket back-patch in my teenage years.

How I Came To Know It: I knew this album growing up. I didn’t own it, but it was popular at parties and blaring out of Camaros going up and down the main drag.

How It Stacks Up: This is my only Van Halen album. I may one day get one or two more, but for now there is no stacking to be had.

Ratings: 3 stars

Full disclosure: I did not like Van Halen growing up. I actively disliked them, in fact. As a metalhead, I referred to them as “tinsel” (and not in a warm tingly holiday-spirit kind of way). I thought David Lee Roth was a pompous ass, and Eddie Van Halen played fast, but not good. Sure I enjoyed watching the “Hot for Teacher” video as much as the next hormone-ridden teenager, but give the music a chance? Never.

In the end, my hatred for Van Halen blinded me, as hatred usually does and the only joy I was denying was my own. Fortunately, there is always time to reject musical snobbery. All you have to do is open your ears, and let the music in. With the help of friends, I’ve had a lot more recent exposure to early Van Halen of late, and it has made me appreciate these guys for the first time.

Enter Van Halen’s eponymous debut. This record is a solid hard rock record, expertly delivering seventies flavour, with just a hint of the excess and bombast that lay just around the corner in the next decade. It is not heavy metal, but since I’m not fifteen anymore, I know that everything doesn’t have to be metal to be worth listening to (see blog sidebar for further evidence of this).

It all starts with the brilliant and timeless “Runnin’ With the Devil.” When David Lee Roth belts out “I live my life like there’s no tomorrow” he sings it with such conviction you believe every word. All that bombast that used to bug me in my youth, now draws me in and makes me revel in the glory of a natural frontman doing his thing. As for Eddie Van Halen, his guitar work on this song is perfect. Sitting that groove down in the pocket and adding just the right amount of flourish to give the song a little spice.

The album also features a cover of the Kinks’ “You Really Got Me.” I used to dismiss this song in my youth as “just another cover” but the truth is Van Halen has nailed this song. Dare I say, I like it even more than the original, which is saying something.

That said, there are still elements of this record that remind me of legitimate reasons the band used to irk me in my youth. “Eruption” is a renowned and celebrated instrumental, but for me it exemplifies the aspect of Eddie Van Halen’s playing that I don’t like. Does he demonstrate his virtuosity on this song? Absolutely, but just making the guitar create interesting sounds and playing super fast does not a great song make. I found the tune lacked emotion and intent, which are two things he demonstrates beautifully on other parts of the album where he bows to the needs of the song’s melody.

And “Atomic Punk” is David Lee Roth at his most excessive. The song is supposed to be hard hitting and frenetic, but it just feels vaguely ridiculous. Roth strays from his comfort zone of “party guy at a kegger” at his own peril, and the post-apocalyptic feel the band is trying to convey never quite lands.

I’ll probably never love Van Halen, but this record taught me that I was wrong to dismiss them. They are a solid band who play an important and undeniable part in the history of rock and roll. It is a reminder that you should never harbour a permanent dislike of a band just because you didn’t like them in your youth. Except for Duran Duran. Seriously, fuck them.

Best tracks: Runnin’ With the Devil, You Really Got Me, Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love, Jamie’s Cryin’