CD Odyssey Disc 1932: Alestorm

I wore a skull & crossbones pirate tie to work today and while I think it was a random selection, it is also possible the album I’ve been listening to has been sending me subliminal messages.

Disc 1932 is…Back Through Time

Artist: Alestorm

Year of Release: 2011

What’s up with the Cover? Another fine bit of Alestorm artistry. Here we have our undead pirate, with a Viking helmet on the end of his bloody sword (this makes sense if you pay attention to the lyrics). We also have his oft-companion sidekick undead rat, drinking from a Viking horn and doing his best Marty McFly impersonation.

In the background a pirate ship emerges from a time portal. How do we know it’s a time portal and not just a very nasty sideways tornado? Again, the lyrics.

The pirates aboard launch a fiery broadside before they are even out of the rift which seems reckless when dealing with a space/time anomaly, but drunken pirates aren’t known for their circumspection.

How I Came To Know It: I originally passed over this record as one of Alestorm’s lesser efforts, but damn it if I didn’t want more pirate metal. And if you’ve got an itch for pirate metal old Alestorm records are how you scratch it.

How It Stacks Up: I have seven Alestorm records, which is all but their most recent (which I will at some point be remedying). I like them all, but I like some of them less than others. Sorting that out is literally what this section of the review is about, and I put “Back Through Time” at #6.

Ratings: 2 stars but almost 3

What would happen if a crew of quest-seekin’, rum drinkin’ pirates went back in time and did combat with Vikings and giant squids? This record would happen.

Yes, Alestorm returns for their third studio album, ready to conquer the waves or at least fire off some pirate metal music at high volume. Lead singer/songwriter Christopher Bowes and his merry crew of musicians know by this point they’ve got a winning formula and they’re not going to deviate from it very far.

As usual we have the frantic pace of power metal, laced with some traditional thump and a whole lot of growl and snarl, as the boys fire off one fast-paced metal banger after another. This being on the folk side of power metal, there are plenty of melodic structures suitable for hauling on a bowline or rowing a jolly boat. Infuse that with some electric guitar and a bit of double-bass drum suitable for throwing your neck out in a mosh pit and you have a good idea of what to expect.

Never let it be said that Alestorm have zero new ideas, however, and on “Back in Time” they keep things fresh by throwing in some time travel. The title track leads things off, a song that features their signature sound – a rollicking melody, jaunty keyboards, crunchy guitar and Bowes’ raspy ribald vocals. It is an admittedly weird mix and, if you’re new to Alestorm, not for everyone.

The song is about the battle between pirates and Vikings and while the idea is a fun one the lyrics are a bit forced with a chorus of:

“You put your faith in Odin and Thor
We put ours in cannons and whores.”

Um…sure.

There’s a lot more forced rhyme and theme-cramming where that comes from, and while this is common to any Alestorm record, I felt like “Back Through Time” could’ve done it better.

Lest you think, however, that Alestorm are not aware of a critic’s impending criticism, or charges that they can’t come up with anything new they literally write a song about it in “Scraping the Barrel”. Best (worst?) of many self-deprecating lines you’ll hear therein:

“Many have told us that we can’t go on
That one day we’ll run out of lyrics for songs
But when the time comes to write album four
We’ll scrape out the barrel once more.”

It’s not a great song and not a great quatrain either (the original quatrain just rolled over in its shallow grave at me even using the phrase) but there’s something to be said for being aware of what you’re doing and doubling down.

Before the album ends Alestorm visit yet more common ground with a song about rum called – you guessed it – “Rum”. This one is a banger, with a chorus that is mostly the shouting of the titular drink in unison, but done with such joyful abandon you will happily join in.

And that’s the not-so-secret formula to Alestorm’s success. They love what they do, they do it well, and most of all, it’s fun. Don’t expect to be musically challenged but do expect to sing along and tap your feet. If you feel embarrassed that they’ve won you over don’t be. You’ve plenty of company and there’s a barrel full of similar songs where these came from.

All that, and I didn’t even get to the giant squid.

Best tracks: Back Through Time, The Sunk’n Norwegian, Rum

CD Odyssey Disc 1677: Alestorm

Despite a weekend dominated by weekend travel, I was able to sneak in a few private moments and get this review written. There is no sacrifice I am unwilling to make to ensure your music exploration needs are met, gentle reader.

Disc 1677 is…Seventh Rum of a Seventh Rum

Artist: Alestorm

Year of Release: 2022

What’s up with the Cover?  Here we have the famous undead pirate that graces many an Alestorm album, pouring a drink from his seventh bottle of rum. The other six bottles (representing Alestorm’s first six albums) lay drained and strewn about.

He has a look of anticipatory glee on his face, likely not realizing he doesn’t have sufficient internal organ integrity to get drunk. Maybe he just likes the taste.

How I Came To Know It: I started out on my Alestorm journey back in 2017 when they released “No Grave But the Sea” and I’ve been exploring their discography in both directions ever since. For a while there I tried to be discerning and only buy the very best of their discography, but in the last few years I’ve surrendered to the inevitable truth; I love these guys, even when they’re not at their best.

How It Stacks Up: I have seven Alestorm albums, which is all of them. “Seventh Rum of a Seventh Rum” (unsurprisingly, their seventh) is a not their best, but as noted above, I still had a good time. That said, I must perforce rate said good time against the relative good times I’ve had with their other records. In this case, we come up on the bottom half of the list at #5.

Rating: 3 stars but just barely

After a bit of a folksy (for them) record on 2020’s “Cure of the Crystal Coconut” Alestorm bring a bit more of the crunch back to their efforts on “Seventh Rum).

While the record has more furious bass drums and dense arrangements than I’ve seen from Alestorm in a few records, make no mistake – these guys steadfastly refuse to take themselves seriously. They are here to have a good time doing exactly what they do on every record – mix folk and metal together and sing – exclusively – about pirates. Or as it is simply summarized by we who choose to soak in their particular lunacy: pirate metal.

There are some variations within this theme, but they are narrow. Alestorm pirates like to go on quests, steal ships, seek booty, and drink lots of rum. They also throw in pirate-adjacent themes such as partying (which they do a lot) and insulting whoever is listening (also done with frequency). Both of those latter things fit within the piracy…idiom, but I’d say Alestorm makes it a greater focus of pirate life than maybe Edward Teach did.

On the party front, we have the appropriately named “P.A.R.T.Y.” which also has some questing but the main focus of this song is to create an opportunity for the audience to sing along as they spell out “party” in unison. There is also some of their signature keytar, as well as lead singer Christopher Bowe’s signature Scottish brogue, exhorting you to join in the fun.

On the insult front, they’ve got lots of examples. Here’s one of many on the record, this one from the song “Cannonball”:

“Yo ho! Stick a cannonball up your c___
Yo ho! Put your dick in a blender”

The blender reference is off-brand, but you can’t deny it paints a picture. If you don’t like your rock icons telling you where to stick it, Alestorm is not for you. Having seen them live, I can attest that their fans take a great deal of pride in all the expletive-laced invective. The fans shout such lines back up at the stage as vigorously as those on it sing it downward. It’s a lot of fun.

“Under Blackened Banners” is my favourite song on the record sums up this whole feeling of belonging to the “tribe” of piracy mythology Alestorm has developed. The chorus has a nod to pretty much everything that makes this band fun to some, and exasperating to most:

“Raise your hook, raise your sword
Fight the world and face the hordes
We’re the brotherhood of violence,
We’re the sisters of the sea
Sailing under blackened banners
Stealing ships and getting hammered
The destiny of pirates belongs to you and me.”

This song opens with the historically-challenged line “5,000 years ago in the age of dinosaurs” Are Alestorm this stupid? Reader they are not. In fact, they’ve made quite a career out of pretending to be idiots.

Musically this stuff has a lot of folk conventions to composition, landing somewhere between Russian traditional dance tunes and Irish (or I suppose Scottish in this case) drinking songs, with a liberal helping of power chords to fuel the experience.

“Seventh Rum” is named after the Iron Maiden record, “Seventh Son of a Seventh Son” (reviewed back at Disc 1317) and while like a lot of European power metal bands they are clearly influenced musically by Maiden. However, don’t expect the complicated musical compositions of Steve Harris here. Alestorm have discovered a sound they know how to do well, and they stay very much in their lane. What that lacks in creativity the band makes up for with sheer enthusiasm.

For their last three records, Alestorm has following an ongoing saga titled, “Wooden Leg” and “Seventh Rum…” features the third installment of the tale. The original “Wooden Leg” is solid enough, although I’m not sure it warrants two more chapters. But like a lot of what Alestorm does on “Seventh Rum…” they leave no room for such discerning critical consideration. Jump in and enjoy yourself. Or stick your dick in a blender. Whatever you prefer.

Best tracks: The Battle of Cape Fear River, Cannonball, Under Blackened Banners, Seventh Rum of a Seventh Rum, Return to Tortuga

CD Odyssey Disc 1553: Alestorm

It was cold out today, but I still managed to get out for a run over my lunch break. I always listen to the album I’ll be reviewing when I go running (it counts under rule #4, since running is basically “walking around” only faster). My device doesn’t play set playlists very well (I refused to download the proprietary software that would have assisted), so when I get to the end of the album, I just press “back” until I’m back to the first song. Sometimes I go one too far back, and get whatever song is on the previous album.

Today that happened but instead of skipping back to the start of this next album, I played that one extra song in its entirety. Granted, the song was Black Sabbath’s “Supernaut” which is nigh irresistible, but it was a sign this next record was failing to hold my attention.

Disc 1553 is…. Black Sails at Midnight

Artist: Alestorm

Year of Release: 2009

What’s up with the Cover? Alestorm loves pirates, and for their cover art they like those pirates to be zombie pirates. It is hard to say if these particular zombie pirates are here to fight or to party. I mean, sure they’re brandishing torches and an assortment of weaponry, but there’s a certain festive quality to their demeanor. Even the pirate rat in the lower left appears equally enthused by his cutlass and his tankard of ale.

How I Came To Know It: I discovered the band while falling into a folk metal exploration on Youtube, but this specific album came relatively late, as I dug through the band’s back catalogue.

How It Stacks Up: I have four Alestorm albums. Of those four, “Black Sails at Midnight” is easily the weakest, coming in at #4.

Ratings: 2 stars but almost 3

I don’t believe in the myth of the ‘sophomore curse” but Alestorm’s second record, “Black Sails at Midnight” did flirt dangerously close to proving the theory.

This record has all the hallmarks that should make an Alestorm album great. It is rousing folk metal, with plenty of sea chanties dressed up with power chords and festooned with songs about the pirate life.

There are some solid entries holding things up. The title track has a guitar riff so furious it would be at home on a more serious record, and while this song is unquestionably about pirates, it is the most serious Alestorm gets on the subject, with a galloping swell, and even a healthy doss of double bass to show just how enthusiastic they are about flying the black (although flying it at night I was left wondering – could anyone see it…?”). The song has a fury that would be enjoyable regardless of the subject matter. It is not all that inventive, but there is something to be said for power metal played well.

There are also solid examples of what Alestorm does best: tunes designed for singing along and a choreographed audience of fans spilling beer all over the dance floor as they pump their drinkin’ arms in unison. “That Famous Ole Spiced” is a solid example of the experience, albeit designed more for rum than beer.

Also on the fun side, is “Wolves of the Sea” which is a cover of a song from 2008’s Eurovision, courtesy of Latvian disco-pop band, “Pirates of the Sea.” If nothing else, I’ll always appreciate Alestorm for driving me to see the hot mess of the original which is everything terrible and wonderful about European competition TV, all wrapped up in one three-minute cheese-fest.

Unfortunately, a few good songs and a metal cover of Eurovision’s 12^th best song are not enough for this record, which failed to consistently impress, and often had me wishing I was listening to any one of the three better Alestorm records in my collection.

Sometimes it is the arrangement, such as the opening violin/accordion hoke-fest that wrecks the otherwise passable “Keelhauled”. Other times it is the slow sway of “To The End Of Our Days” which wants to be a serious dirge, but comes off more as a drunken plod. Or maybe they were going for a drunken plod. With Alestorm, that is always a possibility.

“No Quarter” is an instrumental that doesn’t ever develop melodically, giving it the feel of music you might enjoy in the background of a pirate-themed video game, but of limited interest beyond that.

I love Alestorm, and they are one of the best live shows I’ve seen. If you get a chance to go see them, I suggest you go. They are great, and their fans are equal parts rabid and delightful. I also love most of their studio albums, which mix humour, bombast and a natural talent for anthemic songwriting. However, while “Black Sails at Midnight” has some bright spots, you’ll be much better pleased with other, better records in their discography.

Best tracks: That Famous Ole Spiced, Black Sails at Midnight, Pirate Song

CD Odyssey Disc 1449: Alestorm

In a coincidence bordering on the uncanny, this is the third straight review from the year 2008, all determined randomly. For the stat nerds out there, it is my 36^th album reviewed from that year.

Disc 1449 is…. Captain Morgan’s Revenge

Artist: Alestorm

Year of Release: 2008

What’s up with the Cover?  The titular captain, presumably seeking revenge. He definitely has an enraged look on what’s left of his face. Some captains are accompanied by parrots, but Captain Morgan has gone with a zombie rat as his beloved pet.

And if I may just say once again, heavy metal consistently has the best album covers. It isn’t even close. Kudos to artist Ingo Romling for this one.

How I Came To Know It: I discovered Alestorm in 2017 when I heard “No Grave But the Sea” (reviewed back at Disc 1317) and began digging through their back catalogue. I couldn’t find “Captain Morgan’s Revenge” anywhere, and I must shamefully admit that I bought it off of Amazon after not being able to order it via my local record store. Not my finest moment.

How It Stacks Up: I have three Alestorm albums (and on the lookout for one more). Of the three I have, I put “Captain Morgan’s Revenge in at #2, barely behind “No Grave But the Sea”.

Ratings: 4 stars

A couple albums ago I reviewed a power metal band (Sabaton) that likes to sing about war…a lot. I don’t know what it is about European power metal, but it definitely attracts the thematically inclined. In the case of Alestorm, that theme is pirates. “Captain Morgan’s Revenge” is their first album, but the theme is already well established.

Before I get into all that piratical fun, a few notes on the music, so you’ll know what you’re getting into if you decide to check these guys out. Alestorm is a mix of Celtic folk melodies, mixed with power metal chords, crunchy guitar, barroom sing-a-long choruses and healthy helping of keytar. Yes, keytar. Think Dropkick Murphys but way heavier, and with a lot more eyepatch wearing.

It sounds a bit silly, and it is meant to be. Alestorm don’t take themselves seriously, and I don’t think they want their listeners to either. However, the musicianship is anything but silly. These guys can play. You’d be surprised how good a keytar can sound in the right hands (singer and “keytarist” Christopher Bowes plays with gusto). I was particularly impressed with the heavy hitting precision of drummer Ian Wilson. He really thumps it out with staccato brilliance, grounding these tunes with the driving energy they need to work. His double bass on “Wenches & Mead” is – as a pirate might say, “full-sail and hard over”.

Also, for a band that sings about only one topic, Alestorm manage to work in a lot of sub-styles in the field of metal. The title track is classic power metal, with soaring anthemic power chords (on guitar and keytar – can’t stress that enough), “Nancy the Tavern Wench” is essentially a barroom folk song that has been metalized, and “Death Before the Mast” and “Terror on the High Seas” work out some killer thrash/speed metal.

As for the topics, did I mention it involves pirates? Sometimes the pirates are at work, (“Over the Seas”, “Terror on the High Seas”) and other times we catch up with them in their leisure time, where they mostly get hammered and chase after women (“Nancy the Tavern Wench” and “Wenches & Mead” are pretty much exactly as their titles suggest).

The best tune on the album is the title track, which tells the tale of a mutiny, a curse, and a grim reckoning in the end for the crew at the gallows, depicted by Bowes as:

“At sunrise we'll all dance the hempen jig
So raise up your pint of rum and take another swig”

I assume from this that the condemned pirates got one last night of debauchery ere the end. Proof that even in the blackest of moments, Alestorm can always find time to squeeze in another round.

All this piraticism should get old quickly, but it doesn’t. Bowes’ vocals are raspy and infectious, and he is clearly having a good time inhabiting these rogues. With lyrics like this:

“When I come back from a mighty quest
I have no need for sleep or rest
I head to a tavern for a drink
And get so drunk I cannot think”

You shouldn’t be expecting any insightful poetry, but while the rhymes may be obvious, the band sings it with so much gusto, you don’t mind. Many of the songs have choruses designed for singing along as well, so feel free to join in.

Most of the band is from Scotland, and on album’s last track, they give their homeland a little love with a cover of the Corries folk classic “Flower of Scotland.” It has a bit more thump than the original, as you might expect, but remains a ton of patriotic fun.

Fun is the name of the game on this record. Don’t expect a lot of insight into the human condition. Just sit back and have a good time.

Best tracks: Captain Morgan’s Revenge, Nancy the Tavern Wench, Death Before the Mast, Terror on the High Seas, Wenches & Mead

CD Odyssey Disc 1317: Alestorm

I made a minor departure from my usual album selection methods this time around. Ordinarily I review either a random album or an album selected (randomly or otherwise) from the ‘new to me’ section of my collection. When I see a live show, this latter approach usually allows me to review the album the band is touring to support at the same time as I review the show.

This next album is the band’s most recent, but it came out in 2017 and long ago it went into the main stacks since the band never came to town when it was ‘new to me’. So I granted myself a little deviation – some common law if you will – from the selection method and pulled down their most recent record. The result is a review of both their studio efforts and their recent show. First, the album but scroll down for the concert review.

Disc 1317 is… No Grave But The Sea

Artist: Alestorm

Year of Release: 2017

What’s up with the Cover? Metal albums are generally the best for cover art, and Alestorm is one of the best. Here we have a skeletal pirate, refusing to rest easy in his watery grave. Some less animated skeletons are behind him as well as a chest full of precious booty, but I suspect he won’t be parting with it easily. The treasure, that is. Maybe the skeletons too, assuming he values their company.

How I Came to Know It: For the last year or two I’ve been exploring a sub-genre of heavy metal called ‘folk metal’. I stumbled upon Alestorm while on this journey.

How It Stacks Up:  Alestorm has five albums, of which I have two; this one and 2014’s “Sunset on the Golden Age.” I’m on the lookout for two more, but for now I rank “No Grave But The Sea” as the best.

Ratings: 4 stars

There is a moment in Monty Python’s Life of Brian where in order for Brian to join the People’s Front of Judea he has to really hate the Romans. Well, in order for you to enjoy “No Grave but the Sea” you have to really like songs about pirates. Because Alestorm sings songs about pirates a lot.

 If you’ve never encountered Alestorm, they are a bunch of guys who perform songs that are a blend of Celtic folk-rock music and European power metal. Think Dropkick Murphys crossed with Iron Maiden. It is infectious, anthemic, fist-pumping fun.

The songs jump and thump along, driven by lead singer (and keytar player) Christopher Bowes who is also the principle songwriter. Bowes has a barroom growl to his vocals and his Scottish accent rolls along with the perfect amount of “yo-ho-yo” that these songs call for. The rest of the band pitch in and there is plenty of unison singing where called for (which is often).

The keytar plays the role of both violin and bagpipes and any other Celtic instrument you might need. The band grounds this delightful tomfoolery with the snap of some grade A heavy metal drumming and the soar and precision necessary for any power metal to be successful.

On earlier records (which are also pretty much entirely about pirate themes) Alestorm is a bit heavier, but with “No Grave But the Sea” they deliver their most melodic and accessible record. This doesn’t take away from any of its power; songs like “Alestorm” and “Treasure Island” both have serious ferocity in them. It is just that the Celtic melodies are artfully employed to give that ferocity layers and dynamics.

But surely the songs couldn’t all be about pirates. Well, assuming you associate pirates with sea battles, looting, plundering and drinking then…yes, they are all about pirates. Just reading that you might be inclined to dismiss Alestorm, or think you’ll tire of hearing that many songs about the same thing. I beseech you not to do this, because this stuff is a very good time.

On “Alestorm” (yes, they do a song named after themselves) they deliver their manifesto with full unison braggadocio on display:

“Rum, beer, quests and mead

These are the things that a pirate needs

Raise the flag, and let’s set sail

Under the sign of the storm of ale.”

Other songs are variations on the theme. “Bar Und Imbiss” features the band entering a tavern to eat sausages, drink beers, shoot, plunder and run off with the proprietor’s wife. “Mexico” unconscionably rhymes “the alcohol is free” with a “the alcohol is free.” You forgive it because it is evident the excess is deliberate.

Nothing compares, however, with the full-blown combination of vulgarity and bombast that is “Fucked with an Anchor.” This one is a rare pleasure, and while my own propriety forestalls me from quoting the exceptionally rude lyrics, I will give full points for the creative rhyming of “anchor” and “wanker” the song manages.

If you don’t mind vulgarity (by which I mean you don’t mind it a lot) then I encourage you to give the song a listen and have a good laugh. If that sort of thing offends you then consider this your trigger warning.

In addition to being some of the best writing the band’s managed over their five full length records, “No Grave But the Sea” is also easily Alestorm’s most well produced record. It is sharp and clear throughout but never losing the energy that makes the band work. It has the energy of a live record, and the crispness of the studio wrapped up in one tight little package.

I’d be tempted to give this record five stars, but honestly, what did I learn about myself?  I already liked pirates.

Best tracks: No Grave but The Sea, Mexico, Alestorm, Fucked with An Anchor, Treasure Island

The Concert: November 17, 2019 at the Upstairs Lounge, Victoria, BC

My first challenge on deciding to go a power metal show on a Sunday night was what to wear. Ordinarily you don’t want to get fancy for a metal concert. Jeans and a tour shirt of either the band you’re seeing or something in the same genre, and that’s it. With Alestorm I had a funny feeling it might be a bit more extravagant, so I risked skin-tight zipper pants with my lace up boots on the outside. And a shirt from the Iron Maiden tour I saw earlier in the year – can’t get too crazy.

Apparently you can, because while most people stuck with jeans, tour shirts and leather, there were a goodly number of people in full pirate regalia. One guy even came in a shark onesie. As we waited to get in, one pirate even went up and down the line giving out party favours. “Who wants a pirate hat? Who wants an eye patch?” God love the enthusiasm of the metal community.

Scimitar

Before we even got in, the first of two opening acts, Scimitar, was already playing. This was a good sign, because it meant the show would start on time, rather than the old trick of driving the audience to drink before any entertainment begins.

The band, which is a local Victoria product, were also excellent. They played tight and the lead singer held a commanding presence on the stage. If you’ll pardon the pun, Scimitar was very much in Alestorm’s wheelhouse, mixing folk melodies with power metal, with a bit of black metal thump thrown in. They were good, and I’m going to check them out further in coming days.

During Scimitar’s show the mosh pit got going very early with some seriously big dudes seriously shoving each other around for fun. I demurred, being both too small and too old for that particular mosh pit. Horns up and rock out and all that, but even pirates flee a superior force.

I chose the path of discretion – and also a pretty good spot to see the show on a raised dais. Good sightlines in Upstairs are rare, and even worse since they reconfigured the place a few years ago. It is disappointing, because it used to be one of my favourite venues for live shows because of both the sound quality and the set up. Now it is the law of the jungle trying to find a good – and safe – place to see the band. More on that later.

Scimitar also gave voice to why the merch table behind my perch looked so bare. It was the tour’s last stop in North America and all of the merch for both Aephanemer and Alestorm were sold out.

This lack of merch at Victoria shows has fast become one of my pet peeves, and I’m beginning to suspect a conspiracy of bands that would rather not ship an extra box over to Vancouver Island. Plus, I really wanted an Alestorm tour shirt, damn it.

Aephanemer

Back to the show, where the next band up was French melodic death metal crossover Aephanemer. Their name is a combination of French words that mean “ephemeral” and “wilted” and besides that, just sounds cool.

So did the band. Frontwoman Marion Bascoul was awesome, growling away with power and menace even as she flashed a toothy smile that let you know that, yes, she too was having a great time.

In fact, Aephanemer had a great positive energy to go with all that furious energy, and lead guitarist Martin Hamiche could really wail on the solos.

Alestorm

After a slightly longer-than-reasonable delay (and two rousing chants from waiting fans of “Alestorm! Alestorm!) Alestorm took the stage.

There are some bands where you get pretty much what you expected, and Alestorm is one of them. These guys are basically a moveable party that brings their own soundtrack. One band member had a hat reading “Oh Wow” and another wore a tank top with giant letters admonishing the crowd to “Get the Fack Up”. The crowd obliged.

Most importantly, the band could play. They were crisp and tight, and the songs sounded just like the album except with a bit of extra oomph. A couple of times it felt like the vocals were a bit low in the mix, but it was a minor gripe; for the most part it was solid.

The crowd also were fully into it, and while it wasn’t quite Frank Turner level in terms of their song knowledge they knew when to enthusiastically shout out the chorus. The songs were mostly from “No Grave But the Sea” with older favourites from their back catalogue mixed in. It was a set designed to please the crowd, and it pleased me; I couldn’t think of a track that I missed hearing.

The whole show had a bit of crazy mixed in. Mid-way through a mountain of a man joined the band on the stage who apparently went by the name of “Beef Guy” (with a ball cap emblazoned with “BEEF GUY”, in case you forgot). Beef Guy drank two beers in about 15 seconds total and then assisted the band in singing their cover version of Taio Cruz’s “Hangover” It was brilliant.

At one point Christopher Bowes had the dance floor separate into two halves and run at each other with arms extended as if they were airplanes. No one was apparently hurt and all the (mostly) drunk concert goers thought it was a jolly good time.

They ended the show with “Fucked with an Anchor” and audience and band spent the final few minutes good-naturedly giving each other the finger.

The only downside of the show was more of a function of the bad layout at Upstairs than any ill-will. There are simply not enough good places to stand and see the show, and while we got there early for a good spot, it is a constant struggle to hold your own against legions of people slipping in front of you to get a better view. I’m pretty chill about this overall, but all the bumping and jostling can affect even the most stalwart extrovert.

Given this is a common bar concert phenomenon, I think it needs a name. I’ve decided to call it…bishoping. No, not the practice of altering your horse’s teeth to make it appear younger (yes, that’s a thing). In this case the metaphor relates to the chess piece. First, because it usually involves a 45-degree angle slide between two people to move in front of them. Second, because when executed without the necessary grace and diplomacy, it can make you look like a dick.

Would I go see Alestorm again? Absolutely, but only if it were at a different venue; preferably one with more chairs for us old guys with stiff backs and bad knees.