This next record is a thrift store special. Sometimes that works out and sometimes it don’t but it usually doesn’t cost you much to find out.
Disc 1922 is…Love.Angel.Music.Baby
Artist: Gwen Stefani
Year of Release: 2004
What’s up with the Cover? Gwen Stefani’s so hot she’s melting that throne.
As for this record – is it hot or a hot mess? To know the answer to that you’re going to have to do more than look at the cover, my friends.
How I Came To Know It: This record was culturally unavoidable in the day and was loaded with monster hits. As for actually buying it, that never crossed my mind until last year when I saw it in a thrift store for the low cost of three dollars. Sign me up for that bargain.
How It Stacks Up: This is my only Gwen Stefani album. I also have a single No Doubt record (reviewed way back at Disc 1223). These two albums came out one after the other, but while they both feature Stefani, they’re not by the same band, so there’ll be no stacking up.
Ratings: 2 stars
I find Dance Pop a dangerous genre to court. It lives dangerously in the Land of the Single, where radio play is king, club play is queen, and cohesive records are often an afterthought. Yes, you can find all-round great records in the genre like “Electra Heart” (Disc 1639) and “The Fame Monster” (Disc 747) but you are much more likely to get a loss-leader experience with a couple of killer club bangers at the front end, and a whole lot of filler thereafter.
For this reason, I tend to responsibly engage one full listen before taking this style of music home to meet the wife, but for the low price of $3 I figured it was worth it just for the singles.
Let’s start there, since the record (wisely) does so. While this record’s early oughts dance vibe is very of its time, that doesn’t make “What You Waiting For?” even remotely less of a full-blown banger. This is a song for blowing out your hair, then blowing out your wallet at a club and then blowing kisses out of the cab to strangers on the way home.
What’s this song actually about? Reader, I don’t care terribly. It is a vibe and that vibe is get out there and live a little. Maybe even a little of Stefani pumping herself up for going solo (sorry, the English Literature degree in me made me pay some attention to even these lyrics).
Then we get “Rich Girl” which I wanted to hate, since the song’s main hook is straight up stolen from Fiddler on the Roof’s “If I Were a Rich Man.” Only, I couldn’t. It’s a pretty great hook, and Stefani dresses it up nicely. Also the bridge where hip hopper Eve drops a bar or two of dope raps is a lot of fun. Like most great pop songs, it has a bunch of cool sounds, strung together in a way that makes you like it on the first listen, and then like it even more in the anticipation the third or fourth listen. Is Stefani tricking us here with some empty bubble gum? Reader, she is, but you won’t mind. Shut up and dance.
And then, rounding out our trilogy of underpriced and gaudily packaged goods at the front of the store we get… “Hollaback Girl” – another club banger, built to chant along with friends, while pointing with two fingers on the downbeat and showing off your sexiest sneer. Stefani goes to the deepest well in vacuous but fun pop music with hand claps and foot stomps. Visceral and rhythmic? Sign me up.
But even three songs in, the cracks are starting to show. “Hollaback Girl” opens with empty lyrics that are fun but things start feeling forced. Is this song just playing off Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust”? No – actually you’ll find references to other Queen songs in there as well (I felt a distinctive Highlander vibe, but that’s just me).
I should like it just for that, and I do, but following so directly after our fiddler-adjacency I started to feel a little…empty. Like I’d found a stash of delicious candy and overindulged, and now my mouth felt dry from the sugar dust and my stomach hurt.
After one more hit that I just didn’t like to pad the multi-platinum landing zone (“Cool”) it was a steep cliff to…filler town.
The rest of this record is just a bunch of dance beats strung together with all the artistry of Emily Gilmore on a shopping spree – ruthlessly efficient but lacking all joy.
Sure, Stefani tries on a lot of different versions of vacuous beats but they all just bounce around restlessly, like background beats that clear a dance floor while the DJ takes a bathroom break. A good time to get a drink, or more likely to wish you had left earlier when the buses were still running.
These songs go on without respite or purpose. At each turn you’ll realize Stefani is “paying homage’ to a dance style of yesteryear, but she doesn’t add anything to the experience. The bright and brilliant star of those first three tracks are like a sparkler. Fun at first, and good to move around with, but then later just a burned-out memory that melts the garbage bag when you try to throw it away.
I’m not mad at Stefani. If anything I regret all this late-review shade I’m throwing, which virtually guarantees I will not get invited to the amazing parties I imagine she throws on a regular basis (album aside – Stefani is cool).
But I gotta keep it real, and this record is fast food – good at first, but not good for you. I’m glad I got it on a discount and will be providing the same opportunity to someone else very soon.
Best tracks: What You Waiting For?, Rich Girl, Hollaback Girl
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