You can’t always choose what you
love. So if loving this record is wrong – and it probably is – I don’t want to
be right.
This next review will make me
sound very hypocritical, but I’m hoping to make up for it with embarrassing honesty.
At least I know I shouldn’t like this stuff.
Disc 960 is….Self-Titled
Artist: Heart
Year of Release: 1985
What’s up with the Cover? Ah, Heart. You have my
sympathies; the eighties were cruel on fashion. Ann Wilson looks like a wealthy
dowager off to a company Christmas party, and Ann looks like she’s going to
clean the house while she’s out. The less said about three men the better, who collectively
are covering every facet of what made men’s hair styles in the eighties
terrible: mullet, mousse and mini-fro. I had the latter.
How I Came To Know It: Back in the eighties my brother
and I pretty much only bought Heavy Metal, but he made an exception for this
album, likely because Heart were sufficiently hard rock to not be embarrassing.
Also, I suspect that, like me, he thought the songs were good. I bought it on
CD a few years ago at very low price – maybe $7 in a bargain bin.
How It Stacks Up: Since giving away the terrible “Bad Animals” (reviewed
back at Disc 827) I only have two Heart albums. This one probably doesn’t
deserve to be ranked first, but that’s what I’m doing anyway so…#1!
Ratings: 3 stars
Yeehaw –
mid-eighties production! Organs where guitars should be! But…wait a minute. Don’t
I hate those things? Don’t I prefer organic sound and sparse production? Well,
there’s an exception for everything, and Heart’s self-titled eighties comeback is
the exception for me.
Admittedly
it is a strange choice, with songs that straddle the line between hard rock and
power pop and lyrics that range from teenage angst to creepy sex metaphors. But
damn it, there are some really good songs on this record.
It helps
that I grew up with this record and I know it like the back of my hand,
particularly Side One. I’ve been singing along to these songs since the ninth
grade. Familiarity makes a difference, I suppose.
It also
helps that Ann Wilson has one of the rock’s greatest voices ever. Big and bold
with wicked range and power on songs like “Never”
and “If Looks Could Kill” then soft
and sweet on lighter tracks like “These
Dreams” and “Nobody Home.” Sister
Nancy manages the same range on guitar.
Finally,
if I’m being honest, in the great age of eighties music videos both women were easy
on the eyes. That probably held my attention a little longer and gave the music
a chance to win me over.
As I
noted earlier, Side One is easily the best half of the record. “If Looks Could Kill” launches the record
with a thick, eighties metal sound; crunching guitar (including the requisite
gratuitous solo). The organ adds a bit of pop spice and gives it the mass
appeal this record enjoyed in the day.
That
synthesizer and organ sounds are present on almost every song, and it should
wreck them but doesn’t. On “What About
Love” it (along with Ann’s vocal) is the star of the show, underscoring the
overwrought emotion that would make Bonnie Tyler or a Broadway musical equally proud.
I like it too.
Despite
my love for all the great songs on Side One, Side Two had my favourite; a deep
cut called “Nobody Home” full of strained
imagery that really worked for me when I was 15. Wilson’s vocal is soft as a
prayer, but still fills the room with warnings to her man to not go too wild,
or one day when he comes home she won’t be there:
“Don’t run too fast like a shot
from a gun
Don’t jump too high and knock out
the sun
Don’t stray too far out on your
own
When you finally come knocking
there’ll be nobody home.”
Based on
what the guy is apparently up to, I assume these lines are sung by Lois Lane.
Yes it is schlocky, but I can’t help liking it. Like the rest of this record,
it is half great artistry, half guilty pleasure.
The rest
of Side Two is not good however, even for me. “All Eyes” is supposed to be charged with sexual tension, but just
feels awkwardly creepy to me, with lines like:
“When you look at me
It melts my legs
Wraps me around your fingertip
You don’t have to say a word
To get a hold of me”
What the
hell is going on here, and are pictures available? But no…no eighties video for
this one.
The
album spawned four top ten hits and the worst of them, “Nothing At All” isn’t bad so much as it doesn’t hold up against the
other tracks with its strange back up singing that makes it way too…eighties.
But wait
a minute – why didn’t I complain about the same issues with all the other
songs? I can’t explain it except sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.
Or maybe I’ve been cooped up singing the songs on this record so long that I
have the music listening strain of Stockholm syndrome.
I grade the
first side of this record at 4 stars and the second at 2, so I’ll split the difference
and give it 3 overall. I really wanted to give this record an extra star. Maybe
that one I arbitrarily sucked from my last Duran Duran review…But no, I
squandered that long ago on movies featuring Ron Pearlman and vampires. So I
guess I’ll stick with 3, but it is a very heartfelt and appreciative 3. Thanks,
Heart, for reminding me that even at its worst, eighties production can’t
completely sink great singing and a good melody. Every now and then it even helps
things along.
Best
tracks: If Looks
Could Kill, What About Love, Never, These Dreams, Nobody Home
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