OK, let’s
keep this thing going.
Disc 1375 is…. Buffy
the Vampire Slayer: The Album
Artist:
Various Artists
Year of Release: 1999
What’s up with the
Cover?
Isn’t it all so romantic! Buffy the Vampire slayer glows in
the light, as her tortured vampire boyfriend Angel broods in the shadows behind
her. Get a room, already. Actually, don’t. We don’t want Angel experiencing
that Moment of Perfect Happiness, losing his soul, and going on a murderous
rampage through the streets of Sunnydale.
If none of that made sense to you, then you are not this album’s target
audience.
How I Came To Know
It: My
coworker Anna and her partner were downsizing their CD collection and took a
photo of what was available. I spied both this album and another Buffy
soundtrack (“Radio Sunnydale”) and offered to purchase them for a cool $5.
Instead, they gave them to me for free. Thanks, Anna!
How It Stacks Up: I now have 36
soundtrack albums, and I’m not about to list them all again (I just did this
back at Disc 1352 if you want a recap of the first 33). Of those 36 albums, I put BVS: The
Album in at #30, right between music from James Bond (Disc 103) and “One
From the Heart” (Disc 935).
And now that I have three different Buffy soundtrack albums, I’ll rank it
in that subset as well. I don’t have high hopes for “Radio Sunnydale” but since
it has an Aimee Mann song and 12 instead of 18 tracks, I’m going to
optimistically say it is better. That lands this one (“BVS: The Album”) in last
place at #3. Good enough for a bronze however, which is coincidentally the name
of the nightclub in the TV show where a bunch of these songs would have been
played.
Ratings: 2 stars
How big of a Buffy, the Vampire Slayer fan would you have to be to enjoy
this record? I’m going to say more than a big fan. Because I am a pretty big
fan. I’ve watched the whole damned series (both series if you count Angel)
three times. I’ve turned every character into Arkham Horror board game characters – yes, even characters like Tara and (shudder) Riley. And
yet, even I find my fandom insufficient to enjoy large portions of this extremely
long record.
There are good songs. For starters, I’m a sucker for the visceral kick in
the pants that is the show’s theme song by Nerfherder. This is one of TV’s
great themes, falling just short of gems like Hawaii Five-0 and Stingray. Listen
to it as you watch the Buffy Season Three intro and tell me you don’t get
goosebumps at the end as the camera pans around a very dangerous Buffy Summers,
ready to kick some serious ass with a war axe.
Track Two is also pretty killer. Guided by Voices’ “Teenage FBI”
is easily the best song on the album, with a high-octane tune about how
sometimes the people you love the most bring out the worst in you.
Another standout is Bif Naked’s “Lucky.” I remember the excitement
of realizing it was Bif Naked in the background at the Bronze nightclub, belting
out some Canadian rock and roll as our heroes and villains had their adventures
centre stage.
And yet this album has a lot of problems.
First, it is painfully overwrought. These songs all have the depth of
heartache and pain that only young and beautiful people on TV urban fantasy
series seem to manage. Let’s call it CWangst, after the network that has
perfected the experience. I don’t mind all the drama when I’m watching (except
maybe the Buffy/Angel dynamic – that is dangerously close to a CWangst
overdose) but the songs all on their own don’t have the emotional gravitas to
carry the day.
Bands with painfully of-their-time names (“Hepburn”, “K’s Choice”, “Splendid”)
pour their broken hearts out. Other bands (“Black Lab”, “Superfine”, “Four Star
Mary”) feature bad boys that aren’t very bad at all, singing about being kinda
tough, but also kinda sensitive. Frankly, there is a lot of pining.
Second, the horrible late nineties production I decried in my last
Garbage review, is once again in full effect. Lots of loud, not a lot of
separation. There is even a Garbage song that is off the one Garbage album I
parted with long ago (“Temptation Waits” from Version 2.0).
And finally, the album is just too Goddamned long. 18 tracks and 65
minutes is a lot, and the songs I liked can’t hold up the ones I don’t over that
time frame.
Fortunately, outside of this CD Odyssey I am under no obligation to
listen to all 18 songs in a row with no skipping. I can just listen to the ones
I like when I feel like listening to them.
Also, the physical copy comes with a lot of bonus features! Maybe one day
I’ll mail in my Buffy the Vampire Slayer Fan Club Application (conveniently
included in the CD booklet and mine for only $29.95 US a year) and receive all
of the following:
·
4 issues of the Buffy official magazine
·
Official ID membership card
·
Exclusive cast photos
·
Exclusive Buffy poster
·
Special Buffy bumper sticker.
Like I said, I’m a fan. Which is why I asked for this album in the first
place. I regret nothing.
Best tracks: Buffy
Theme – Nerfherder, Teenage FBI – Guided by Voices, Lucky – Bif Naked, It Doesn’t
Matter – Alison Kraus & Union Station, Wild Horses – The Sundays
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