I had a crazy weekend with Sheila
out of town, getting up to all the silliness I used to get up to as a single
guy.
OK, not all the silliness but I did waste a whole evening playing video
games and another whole evening out clubbing with friends which is pretty much the alpha and omega of single life. For all the fun I
had, the best part was Sunday afternoon when Sheila got home.
Disc 763 is….Phenomenon
Artist: LL Cool J
Year of Release: 1997
What’s up with the Cover? LL Cool J is not on this cover.
He has been abducted by aliens, as you can see from the flare of their
retreating spacecraft in the night sky. The aliens have abducted one of earth’s
pioneer rappers but they have left behind a futuristic font for the betterment
of mankind. At least until the nineties end and we realize it wasn’t that great
of a font after all.
How I Came To Know It: I only bought this album a few
months ago. I’ve been digging through LL Cool J’s back catalogue and this was
my latest foray. I picked it because I remember really liking the title track back
in the day.
How It Stacks Up: I have three of LL Cool J’s
studio albums. Sadly, I must put “Phenomenon” at the bottom of that list. Such
is life.
Ratings: 2 stars
LL Cool J is the rap master of the sexy groove, but to
have true staying power, an album has to have more than a sexy groove.
For the most part, “Phenomenon” has a great feel as
an album, with a lot of backbone-slidin’ beats that are delightfully just on the
wrong side of raunchy. Sean “Puffy” Coombs (or whatever he’s called now) helped
produce the record and gives it a smooth sound with just a hint of jazz that is
generally a good match for LL Cool J’s chill rap style.
The title track has a hook that is irresistible. Listening
to it you are certain that you are also “something
like a phenomenon”, rather than just another schmuck with a set of
headphones bobbing his head while waiting for a light to change.
Unfortunately, most of the album doesn’t live up to
this song. There are a lot of guest rappers, but unlike on, say, a Gang Starr
album, I found the multitude of voices distracting. Some I found downright
boring to listen to, and the songs only picked up when Cool J cut in to rescue
them.
Even then the album suffers the fate of a lot of
late nineties rap, of having a dearth of samples (thanks for nothing, people
who wrecked rap with sampling laws). The samples that are there just feel like empty
radio pop in places, and while no one can out sex-rap LL Cool J, the album
needs a bit more range.
A lot of the other songs are forgettable, like “Candy” which has saccharine rhymes like “you will always be my Candy/someday we will
start a family” sung by the “high voice crooner guy” who is common on all
rap albums of this era.
When Cool J goes full raunch it works better, like
on “Nobody Can Freak You.” This is a
song not just about sex, but rather a single sex act, described by LL Cool J as
“No doubt the opposite of 96.” That
is as subtle as the song gets. Still, it is delightfully wicked, and unlike a
lot of modern rap songs, eminently…mutual.
Ahem
On to the rest of the album, which I found easy to
listen to as background music while vacuuming my house a few weeks back, but
not terribly inspiring when given a more critical listen.
“Father”
is the album’s best effort to get serious; a song about an abusive father, and
the son and mother that pay a terrible price to escape from under his clutches.
It is a good idea and has strong writing but suffers from a bit too much
production. It is a raw topic and I’d love to hear Cool J handle this song ten
years earlier, with just a backbeat and a microphone.
The last song on the record is “Don’t Be Late, Don’t Come Too Soon” which is a six and a half
minute monstrosity with a string section that feels like something you’d find
in your grandparents records (“101
Strings plays classic booty music!”) and an annoying smooth jazz sound that
drones on forever. It’s the musical equivalent of tantric sex, with no happy
ending.
This isn’t a bad album, and if you just want
something to dance to at a party, or something to put on after a party (ahem) then this is definitely
baby-making music (note: be ready with the remote to skip “Father” as it is decidedly a mood killer). For my money there is a
lot of better rap options out there, including plenty of better LL Cool J
albums.
Best
tracks: Phenomenon,
Nobody Can Freak You
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